A picture is worth a thousand words.

Forget regret or life is yours to miss.

Today seemed as though it would never end. My classes felt unbelievably long. I simply couldn't concentrate. My mind kept on wandering. Wandering back to the days of elementary where my biggest worries were catching the bus after school. Back to where friends were forever and school was a pastime. I miss those days... I miss the swings, the slides, and the monkey bars. But most of all, I miss that carefree feeling that hangs upon every innocent child.
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A friend e-mailed me the following and I just thought I'd share...

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. After one week, a test was held. The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk. "This is the worst test I have ever been given." The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have flunked the test. What's your name?" The student pulled up his pant showing his legs and said:"You tell me !!! "

Hahahahaha.

Faith

An atheist Professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, the Almighty. He asks one of his new Muslim students to stand and.....

Professor : You are a Muslim, aren't you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So you believe in God?
Student : Absolutely, Sir.
Professor : Is God good?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is God all-powerful?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent)

Professor : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from?
Student : From...God...
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil?

(Student does not answer)

Professor : Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who created them?

(Student has no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student : No , Sir.
Professor : Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor : Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, megaheat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, Sir, just the absence of it.

(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness, darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going Endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter)

Student : Is there anyone here, who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it...No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, Sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The Professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it Sir... The link between man & God is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

More is not enough

The Stone Cutter

There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day he passed a wealthy merchant's house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful that merchant must be!" thought the stone cutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a high official!"

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the sun!"

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. "How powerful that storm cloud is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a cloud!"

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. "How powerful it is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the wind!"

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it - a huge, towering rock. "How powerful that rock is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a rock!"

Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. "What could be more powerful than I, the rock?" he thought.

He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter.

קּקּקּThe Stonecutter's story reflects the nature of the human mind and of our attachment to it. We jump from one compartment to the next, one desire to the next, one point of view to the next, never resting content with how things really are, never grasping the whole.קּקּקּ

Discovery of North America

Teacher : Jonny, go to the map and find North America.
Jonny : Here it is!
Teacher : Correct. Now, class, who discovered North America?
Class : Jonny!

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.

Fatty McFatfat

My head is spinning. My arms ache. I am extremely worn-out. And all of that is the cause of... babysitting! Well, it wasn’t all that bad. I may be exaggerating. I learned to not to scare kids at night. I had just finished telling them a scary story and once I looked up, I found their eyes filled with terror. So, to lighten up the mood I decided to make up a funny story. It went like this:

Me: So do you guys remember Fatty McFatfat? (by the way, you should know that Fatty McFatfat is a made up substitute teacher. They’re in love with her.)
Kids: Yeah!!!
Me: Well, I saw her the other day. She was subbing in one of the Chemistry laboratories. On her way out, she got stuck between the doors. She couldn’t move. Everybody tried to help her by squeezing her fat through but it just didn’t work. We tried soaping her fat, rubbing it with oil but unfortunately, nothing worked.
Kids: Wait so she was actually stuck?
Me: Yes, like actually stuck. So, this one boy in the class decided to mix up a couple of random chemicals he found lying around. He put a little bit of methanol, a little bit of acetic aldehyde (I was making up chemicals along the way) a tea spoon of salt, mustard, ketchup, potassium hydroxide... you know, the usual...

The kids just stared at me in awe. I was using big words for their vocabulary.

Me: Anyways, the boy decided to combine in his mixture into Fatty McFatfat’s coffee. He gave it to her and she drank it. Suddenly, Fatty McFatfat started shrinking until she fit through the door and was finally free! The End!
Kids: Wait, so she just shrank?
Me: Yup. =)

The kids didn’t say anything. They just stared at me. Speechless. So much for my funny story...

The tendency in civilization is to build artificial environments and then live out our lives enclosed and conditioned by them.
Does this mean we as well live artificial lives?

I am Me

I am Me, I came from here. I went there, and then I came back here to only go a little ways from here.