Fatty McFatfat

My head is spinning. My arms ache. I am extremely worn-out. And all of that is the cause of... babysitting! Well, it wasn’t all that bad. I may be exaggerating. I learned to not to scare kids at night. I had just finished telling them a scary story and once I looked up, I found their eyes filled with terror. So, to lighten up the mood I decided to make up a funny story. It went like this:

Me: So do you guys remember Fatty McFatfat? (by the way, you should know that Fatty McFatfat is a made up substitute teacher. They’re in love with her.)
Kids: Yeah!!!
Me: Well, I saw her the other day. She was subbing in one of the Chemistry laboratories. On her way out, she got stuck between the doors. She couldn’t move. Everybody tried to help her by squeezing her fat through but it just didn’t work. We tried soaping her fat, rubbing it with oil but unfortunately, nothing worked.
Kids: Wait so she was actually stuck?
Me: Yes, like actually stuck. So, this one boy in the class decided to mix up a couple of random chemicals he found lying around. He put a little bit of methanol, a little bit of acetic aldehyde (I was making up chemicals along the way) a tea spoon of salt, mustard, ketchup, potassium hydroxide... you know, the usual...

The kids just stared at me in awe. I was using big words for their vocabulary.

Me: Anyways, the boy decided to combine in his mixture into Fatty McFatfat’s coffee. He gave it to her and she drank it. Suddenly, Fatty McFatfat started shrinking until she fit through the door and was finally free! The End!
Kids: Wait, so she just shrank?
Me: Yup. =)

The kids didn’t say anything. They just stared at me. Speechless. So much for my funny story...